3 Things Nobody Tells You About Toxic People
“If you attach to the negative behavior of others it brings you down to their level.” –
Guru Singh - American Actor (1980 -)
Thing no. 1 - Toxic people do not exist!!!
Yes, I know your eyes are getting bigger and bigger reading this!
Keep reading to become aware of one of the biggest surprises of your life.
If you want to understand the meaning of a word go to any dictionary and look for its definition. I prefer Merriam-Webster Dictionary because is the most important tool to find the meaning of words.
So according to this dictionary, toxic means:
- 1: containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation;
- 2: exhibiting symptoms of infection or toxicosis;
- 3: extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful;
- 4: relating to or being an asset that has lost so much value that it cannot be sold on the market.
The number of people who in real life act according to this definition is zero.
Why am I saying that?
People are born crystal clear. No bad intentions, no harsh, malicious, or harmful desire. They learn how to behave from their parents, during their first 7 living years. And as a result, they get specific mental patterns. After these 7 years, they learn from other people. Their childhood mental patterns may change. In better or worse. For the rest of their lives, people live according to these mental patterns. This is valid for you also, the person who is reading these lines.
Bottom line, from now on, instead of saying "toxic people" you must say "people living according to their own mental patterns".
Thing no. 2 - You are a toxic person too
If we admit that toxic people exist then we must admit that everybody is toxic.
Including you! Including me!
Why am I saying that?
Because in many situations we acted with the intention to harm other people. We have had bad behavior. We cursed, we punched, we yelled at people. Especially when we were kids and teenagers.
Thing no. 3 - Acting toxic is a choice
Every time you want to act or to speak you must make a choice. You must choose between "bad" and "good" words, behavior, and/or thoughts.
Read this example to fully understand what I want to tell you.
Let's say that a guy is cursing you. Is yelling at you. You must choose from 2 possibilities:
1. you fight back with the same attitude or even worse - you curse too, you yell too, and finally you punch him right in his nose.
2. you rest calm, in peace, and quiet. And wait for him to calm down also. If he does not, you just leave.
You will respond according to your mental patterns gained during your childhood and your youth.
Do you want to know how to communicate with "toxic" people withoutgenerating a huge conflict?
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Gabriel Katona
Your Coach for Efficient Leaders who helps you save at least $100k by increasing your employees' performance
